v   Educate yourself about the myths and facts of abuse and share this information. 

v   Express your concern and support for them. 

v   Practice active listening techniques. 

v   Let them make their own decisions and accept their decisions as right for them at this time. 

v   Don’t judge their decisions. 

v   Be calm when discussing the issue. 

v   Recognize and praise the good qualities and strengths you see.  It takes strength to survive and cope. 

v   Tell them they did not cause and do not deserve the abuse. 

v   Tell them they cannot limit or stop the abuse. 

v   Encourage them to be who they want to be. 

v   Help them clarify their feelings. 

v   Never condone the abuse; state your belief that no one deserves to be beaten. 

v   Don’t be a mediator. 

v   Encourage them to confide in a trusted adult. 

v   Confide in a trusted adult if your believe the situation is getting worse. 

v   Be aware that violence escalates in frequency and severity. 

v   Recommend professional help if the situation is serious. 

v   Remember you can’t rescue them, if they aren’t ready to be helped. 

v   Understand that getting out takes time. 

v   Never put yourself in a dangerous situation withthe victim’s partner.  It may encourage your friend to discount the danger that you both are in. 

v   Tell them that assault, even in intimate relationships, is against the law.  

( Northwest Assistance Ministries,Family ViolenceCenter, Houston, TX)