v    Educate yourself about the myths and facts of abuse and share this information. 

v    Express your concern and support for them.  

v    Practice active listening techniques.  

v    Let them make their own decisions and accept their decisions as right for them at this time.  

v    Don’t judge their decisions.  

v    Be calm when discussing the issue.  

v    Recognize and praise the good qualities and strengths you see.  It takes strength to survive and cope.  

v    Tell them they did not cause and do not deserve the abuse.  

v    Tell them they cannot limit or stop the abuse.  

v    Encourage them to be who they want to be.  

v    Help them clarify their feelings.  

v    Never condone the abuse; state your belief that no one deserves to be beaten.  

v    Don’t be a mediator.  

v    Encourage them to confide in a trusted adult.  

v    Confide in a trusted adult if your believe the situation is getting worse.  

v    Be aware that violence escalates in frequency and severity.  

v    Recommend professional help if the situation is serious.  

v    Remember you can’t rescue them, if they aren’t ready to be helped.  

v    Understand that getting out takes time.  

v    Never put yourself in a dangerous situation with the victim’s partner.  It may encourage your friend to discount the danger that you both are in.  

v    Tell them that assault, even in intimate relationships, is against the law.   

( Northwest Assistance Ministries, Family Violence Center, Houston, TX)